I love the power of becoming.

I love walking out of one self and entering another.

I love being whatever I may want to be, god, demon, and more.

Sculptor. Vivisectionist. Thief.


Larger than life

Today, you are one of the unexpected people.

Submission is intense. It’s an extreme. And most people can’t handle that; by definition, the “average” person still chooses comfort, security, and lesser pleasures over that which is risky, difficult, and brings, not enjoyment, but actual bliss.

You become things which don’t exist for them, except in fantasy.

You become things about which they are afraid to fantasize.

They are life-size.

You are not.

You are much, much bigger.

For me, this is an active, conscious part of most of my life. Perhaps it is the same for you; perhaps it is alien to your thoughts. Today, it’s to play a role in what you are.

Spend a little while focusing on that feeling, thinking about it.

Then, as you interact with the world, remember it. Whatever they do, whatever happens, remember that you have this core, this flame in your belly. Think of it as setting you apart, as much as you would like; let it make you totally divorced from them, or let it be simply an aspect of your individuality.

Take a few pauses today, as best you can, to think about this. Whether you are isolated or surrounded by people, think about how you know a certain secret, that you have gained that secret the hardest way: by putting your emotions, your needs, on the line. You chase after fears others avoid, you play with things whose risks are enormous, you challenge yourself in ways that others, perhaps, can’t even contemplate.

And when you pause, ask:

How does this feel?

“The freedom to…”

And sometimes, as we are known to say, being securely bound is the freedom to struggle as much as you want.


Being a fucktoy is the freedom to stop being anything else, for a time.

Being broken, here, can be the freedom to cry tears the outside world need never see.

Being afraid, in this place, can be the freedom to confront fear and perhaps overcome it. Playing out the depraved, the perverted, the obscene, can be the freedom to know, when you are not here, that you go farther than almost anyone else, that you are larger than life.

Becoming your fantasy is the freedom of becoming your fantasy.

No-one is allowed to hurt you, or take from you, in some of the ways that I do.

But sometimes, they do so, without your consent.

When I take you, with your consent, I am doing so by proving myself worthy of your trust, or trying to.

So when you give me the right to take you, you are gaining power over that which, ordinarily, we fear and shun. You have chosen, you are controlling, that which tries to harm you.

This is all a bit idealistic; we know too well that trust gained is not, and does not always remain, trust earned.

But the idea is powerful to me, all the same; you are exploring, you have turned tables on, you are hunting that which tries to make prey of you.